BYOB - Bring your own beverage.

If you are new to Puerto Rico, you will probably be very surprised at how slow your waiter/waitress is when dining at *any* restaurant. You will also be very thirsty!

In my personal experience, do not expect beverages to reach your table in less than about 10 to 15 minutes!

I recently asked some veterans of the service industry who work in Miami how they felt about the delay. They said it was terrible, and that maximum wait time for drinks delivered to the table should be 1 to 4 minutes from sitting down, but definitely from the time you first encounter your waiter/waitress! Not the case in Puerto Rico. Slow... Slow... Slow...

Puerto Rican servers take notice:

Your ultimately goal is to make money. To do that, you need to maximize your tips. To do that, you need to provide quality service to your customers. Your non-Puerto Rican customers will *EXPECT* if not *DEMAND* fast, responsive service. They *DO NOT* want to "rubber neck", a term in restaurant lingo for customers who keep looking around to find their servers.

So - can we please get a glass of water at least to start or meal? And, if your restaurant is not at the "complimentary bread and water" level, then please take our drink orders and get them back to our tables quickly (1 to 4 minutes).

If you absolutely cannot, then you need to get your boss to hire more staff (at least during peak times), or you need to find another job where you can maximize your earnings. The only way you cannot reach a 4 minute deadline is if your restaurant is short staffed, or you slip on an ice cube on the way back to your table!

Tips for Customers:

• Never tip more than 15%. Service is NEVER that good in Puerto Rico.
• Look at your watch the moment you sit down and start timing. Determine the # of minutes from the time you sit down, until the time your server arrives.
• Note: Give them an opportunity. Tell whoever takes you to your table that you would like to order drinks ASAP. Be polite: "Please tell our server that we would like to order drinks right away". Now you have given them a goal to which you can measure their success, and reflect their level of fulfillment in the tip.
• Then if everything else other than the drinks was fine, the biggest tip you should consider giving them is 10%.
• If tip is pre-calculated on the bill, tell them to revise it. If they have an issue, ask for management. Tip is *optional*, NOT mandatory, and should reflect the level of service you receive. The owner pays the staff to "show up" and go through the motions. A tip is for "extra effort" and "quality service".
• If they ask how everything was (at the end of the meal), tell them it was { insert evaluation of service }, but you wish the drinks had been delivered a little faster to begin with. Then they don't have to wonder why they got 11% and not 15%.
• Now give them the new International Standard of "tip feedback". On your receipt, write a capital letter "D" for "Drinks", and then X it out. Now they know why they received a sub-standard tip.

Tip for Puerto Rican servers:

• Your restaurant is most likely air conditioned. You have no excuse not to haul ass, and get the drinks to the table fast.
• Be faster and make more money. If you expect our 15%, then we expect your responsiveness.

Someone please translate this to Spanish and fax, mail, email or hand deliver it to every restaurant in Puerto Rico!

Aside: I would also like to note to allow of you small town, non-franchise restaurants the following:

If you expect me and my family members to pay $20-$30 for a plate of Mahi Mahi or Mofongo or steak, how about serving our drinks in a *glass* instead of a plastic cup, and while we don't expect you to hire an interior designer for award winning ambiance inside... could you please try to make sure your restaurant does not look like someone's grandma's living room with a bunch of rickety chairs and tables? I want to dine comfortably. If I want that type of environment, I'll start crashing funeral buffets!

The Insider

Perspective:

Google Search: Terrible Service During Vacation in Puerto Rico